Zannah the Mare @mare@mares.cafe

It's been years and I can still hear "I'm Paul Kangas, wishing all of you the best of good buys"

Why now brain?

Do you think that the devil would make folks sign a non-disclosure agreement when making a deal?

That concludes this train wreck of a stream of consciousness. My apologies, that doesn't happen often.

My pockets are so small I can barely fit my meds in!

I REALIZED THAT I LOVED MY PARTNER WHEN THEY TOLD ME THEY LIKE HYENAS.

One time I hooked up with a dude on Craigslist and I just left a note in my room with the guys address and a message that said "I went to suck a dude, if I don't return I've died because I was horny"

I just figured I didn't want to me kidnapped for months on end and frankly I'd they found the note it's not the worst thing my christian parents would have to address.

PRETTY SURE THAT SOMEONE ACCIDENTALLY SAW MY DRAGON UNDERWEAR IN WALMART.

It's been a few hours but I've become someone's weird story of the night.

So my underwear size is a seven... And my pants are a size 14!!???!

And my shirt is like a men's XL size shirt. Like think those 'big dog' cringe shirts. Like what the hell?

Every time we go shopping I always can't get those little thin plastic produce bags open and my partner watches me struggle for like 3 minutes before I just beg for help.

They seem surprised every time.

I crouched down to reach the bottom of the fridge and my phone was sticking out of my back pocket... AND IT GOT CAUGHT ON TJE FRIDGE DOOR AND I WAS STUCK AND NEEDED HELP! THE FRIDGE ALMOST ATE ME.

So like I want one SINGLE PICKLE but that means of need to then put the jar in the fridge and I just don't want to go through all the effort.

I'm just going to go whole hog and rant like I'm mad... Without actually being mad about anything...